Protector Page 8

  I didn’t stop the smile. “Same here.” I went on so I wouldn’t chicken out.

  “What do you want to say?” my voice naturally deepened with the longing in the fiber of my bones.

  Is that a vampire thing? “Um, analog or digital?”

  What? My voice maybe? She was changing the subject once again. Must be her avoidance technique. “Analog, I guess.”

  “Sunglasses or hats?”

  “Both!”

  “Boxers or briefs?” she blushed. Had she thought on that long? She just pictured me in her mind with my cheeks red. What a dweeb.

  “I’ll never tell.”

  “Um, Jeep or sports car?” She moved on quickly.

  “1990 Bronco.”

  She pictured herself in my car. Awesome.

  “What, if we are playing twenty questions, then you have sixteen to go?” Her face paled and I took the initiative, “Or I could take a turn?”

  I waited and when she never responded, “Plane or train?”

  Her voice cracked, “Train.”

  “Really, why?”

  “Well, a train can possibly stop anywhere on the tracks, a plane can only land where it is clear for a landing. I prefer an absolute more than the possibility of no survival.”

  I studied her everything, analyzed her reasoning, “You’re afraid of dying?”

  “Immensely!” ...terrifies me somehow, except when his arms are wrapped around me.

  “And you’ve never told anyone?” I heard her clear as a bell now. Shoot! She blocked me out with the dang ring in her hand. “Even though you heal?”

  She nodded her head for a long time, so I curbed her with my own need for her to know I was new to this, “Thank you!”

  “For what?” she curled her adorable face sideways.

  “My trust with your secret.” Next! “Movies or stargazing?”

  She didn’t dignify with an answer. Guess I just wanted confirmation. We were outside after all.

  “Grapes or strawberries?”

  “Grapes with cheese.”

  “Interesting. Red or green?”

  “Do they come in blue?” She was flirting with me. “Seedless,” she offered opposite of what should be answered.

  “Wine, red or white?”

  “White. I like the way it rainbows in my glass.”

  Yeah, the total evil chick role was just a part of her. She was more like a stained glass window. Many facets of one piece that all add up to perfection. I started pulling out the goods.

  “How did you know?” she shyly asked drawing many conclusions about the things I knew.

  On one knee, I remained silent as the best defense. The less she was mad at anything, the better.

  “Why were you born here, at my gardens?”

  I watched the zigzagged patterns swirl around in my glass in front of her and spoke, “I was born a Valkyrie. Here. In the same place as you.” She did a short intake of breath. “Remember your father knew about me?” I pointed to where the sun is in both of us. “We were born on the same night, your brother, you, and I. And when my mother died she left the same kind of letter that the gods had deemed enough for us. He killed himself (because of her probably) and left me behind. I stayed and grew up two floors down below you. The Vampire Lord turned me in an attempt to protect me from the fate that the three of us were destined to but it was leading right into what would all play out anyway. Your father helped him.” They just let me get there on my own.

  She opened her delectable mouth, but I slid one finger against her soft lips to stop her words. The action brought shivers to my spine. I continued once she calmed a little, “This may all come out jumbled up, but I have never spoken it aloud. My father turned me for various reasons (not just for the reason I wanted which was her). I lost my place in the Val court that day. I only returned the day your father summoned me and asked for my help only to fulfill the original destiny back to its place. Since my sired father was dead (at sixteen), I was left alone to make a decision that was already in the making. I didn’t have any decision to make after that first night with you. I knew.”

  “I’m sorry.” Anastacia stammered sadly.

  “For what?” Why would she be sorry?

  “For all that you went through. No one should have to question where they belong or lose the ability to choose what or where or how you want to go.”

  “Thank you, but I did choose. And so did your brother.”

  “Szar?” she wasn’t expecting that.

  “He chose to be taken, beaten, and withstand malnutrition for your safety. He is truly courageous and admirably underestimated. He will be a great leader.”

  “Were talking about my brother?” She dragged out the part that would indicate her brother far from the truth she believed.

  “Yes!”

  “And he knows all this?” Anastacia, the all knowing, was still surprised.

  “Most of it.”

  “What does not he know?” she gaped at me.

  “How I feel about you?” I watched her close for a reaction, but she was cool as a cucumber.

  “Oh! So he didn’t know your motives?”

  She was so quick witted. “Perhaps. But he knew what it would gain him to have you out of the way and at the same time, safe and not dead as you would have been the other night if I hadn’t been there. But there is no question in that, because I have been there all the time and wouldn’t have missed it.”

  Her mind opened unwillingly and thought, When else had he been there? Kind of creepy to think about.

  “The court raised me. My sired father who raised me after childhood was just trying to protect me. In me he had awoken a fight for what I wanted. Before that day, I couldn't keep you safe enough." He was a substitute too.

  “He must have been a great father.” Anastacia was guessing about things to get information out of me. Information I couldn’t give yet if I wanted her to still listen and not judge me for who I was. She hated the name I held. She hated that man before she entered my court. If she knew now, would she stomp out of here and leave me?

  Above me, a bird was chittering and frantically searching for something. A distraction was a good thing here, so I went into rescue mode. The baby was searching for the mother and couldn’t see it up high. I cupped my hands around the small creature and lifted it.

  “A baby bird. Oh, my, is it dying?” Her voice cooed like a little girl. I rose from the ground leaving her for only seconds, and went three feet up to reunite the small family. Anastacia asked me as I landed again feeling the small ache of leaving her dissipate, “I thought a mama bird wouldn't take her baby back after it is touched by human hands?”

  “Myth, but I am not completely human either.”

  She laughed.

  “Why did you—

  I sat down again waiting for her question to finish, but it didn’t. Her emotions were telling me one thing and then her mind would deny that she felt it. I reeled at just wanting to take her in my arms and never let go.

  I let her fight it out and lie down to alternate watching her and the stars. “Are you ready to return?”

  “No.” She said surprisingly fast. Then she was convincing herself of all kinds of things on the inside.

  She started naming the stars and constellations aloud, but her mind was on the return to the Hunter school. She knew the stars well enough she could multi-task. Finally she rested the conversation about stars and asked, “What will the Hunters do when I return?”

  Hunters? Plural.

  “Dr. Green has agreed to cover your identity and let you stay on at the school till the term is finished. You are welcome back into your court, but danger lurks there simply because every faction knows some of your secret now. You should—

  What was he going to say? Am I safe anywhere? “I don’t need protection. I don’t need anyone.”

  Oh, she was so stubborn. “Perhaps. But there are others who need you.” I was running out of time now.

  “I can’t go back t
o court. I just don’t want to. I don’t belong there.”

  “You don’t have to.” I want her to stay and let me protect her austerely willful self. I want her to stay beside me and never leave. I want to fight along with her against this force pressing us together so we can win over the opposing forces that keep us apart. I want to fulfill her dream of combining the factions and creating an alliance if it means I get to keep her.

  I want her everything.

  I want her.

  Now.

  “If I go back to the school, I will be safe. I don’t need protection, and if I did, they are a school of Hunters. Even in herds, they are strong enough to ward off most evils.”

  She held them in higher regard to my own.

  “Are you sure about that?” I scoffed trying to forget my earlier thought but it is so hard when she is angry. In fact, I want her more. I want nothing to separate us.

  No! “Yes!”

  I heard her inward answer. Awesome! “If that is your decision.”

  Her inner thoughts questioned my current motives.

  My body would explode if I didn’t move away from her soon and scaring her with the knowledge of it wouldn’t fare well.

  I cleaned up all of the spread and stood clasping the bag closed, then reached for her hand. She stared at it for a time and thought about not wanting to leave me. I didn’t know if she meant to put the ring in her pocket earlier and leave it there, but she was letting me in just a little more. I hoped she meant to.

  My arm slid around her waist making me think thoughts that still needed to remain hidden, starved, stifled for now. We ascended into the night sky.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Her room was cold and void of what was to come. Emptiness loomed in its walls knowing she would be gone from it in just hours. I didn’t care where she wanted to stay, if she would just stay.

  With her back to me at her doorway, she tensely urged, “I still don’t understand why you brought me here really, but I can’t say to anyone that I was tortured and miserable. I will hopefully appreciate the gesture when I find out more of what happened at the school when I see that everyone is okay and alive."

  She was torn. That I could deal with at least. “I want you…to know that I will be here…if you need anything.”

  She held the door for support. Her fingers turned white with the grip she held on the doorknob. Then...she turned to me and touched my face. On her own accord. My fists were balled. I heard her try to puzzle out my reaction to it. She didn’t know that my body was having all kinds of turmoil that somehow had a mind of its own. Keeping it at bay was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

  Was he trying to avoid me? Perhaps keep from getting hurt? “I don’t know what I think,” she animated her words with her hands like she sometimes does.

  Gaining control of my urges, I put my own hand on her face covering most of the left side, and we both stood there staring with our hands on each other.

  This was it. She was going to let me kiss her again. Lips only. My body was urging for more. She didn’t even close her teary green eyes. I knew from her emotions she wasn’t upset, just the opposite.

  How could this one person be so intensely affecting me right now? she asked herself.

  I reached behind her neck now reenacting the kiss from before, but this one was all new. I inhaled deeply and she met my steady gaze. How is that you affect me so? I returned her own sentiment.

  I had to leave before I went too far. I wanted to go too far. She needed space.

  She took a cold shower. Her intake of breath at the first it hit her skin made me close the connection to give her privacy, but I couldn’t help but listen in on some of her thoughtful decisions that might take place in her head. What could I do? I couldn’t stay. I had to return and find out how all this plays out.

  Soon, I tuned her out and took my own shower. I had to give her alone time. Her mind was endless and full of a hidden hope, but so unreadable even as I invaded it. After I pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt, I lay down on the bed to listen again clenching the bed sheets with anticipation for what I could only imagine. She was on the bed now. That much I could tell.

  She thought about what Calum was doing tonight to prepare to come get her tomorrow. She wanted to understand Dr. Green and what her father were doing to make it all happen. Why she was here with me. And my own motives. How could she not see I was completely in love with her?

  Then she wondered who was supposed to have killed her that night.

  The Elves. Among others. I pinched the bridge of my nose hating the thought of her death. Once they knew for sure she would live throw mortal wounds, they will know the only way to kill her. It made me sick to think about.

  “The Elves?” she whispered to the air. Heck, I heard her from here.

  Why would they want to hurt me? she asked.

  You risk their separation. They have been told you are the enemy. They want to be left alone.

  Alone?

  Her thoughts were in and out suddenly. She was falling asleep even in conversation. I shouldn’t have kept her late.

  I love you! I told her. She never heard it though. She wasn’t ready for that.

  Are you in my dream? she asked me. I had never attempted this though I had read about, heard about it. Many of my kind had invaded others dreams for their own gain. I never could muster the gall to kill supposed enemies, but I had done what had to be done for my kind. But dreams seemed such an invasion. My priorities were more than screwed up. Perhaps one day the factions would unite like the gods say. My hope for that was laying a room away from me with a wall separating us. And it was killing me.

  Back to her dream. Her dream, I was just there because she conjured me there. I wouldn’t alter anything she didn’t want. I could enter a dream if summoned very easily, but to invade an enemies dream was a true nightmare.

  Only if you want me to be.

  Can we go anywhere?

  It is your dream.

  Then take me to the stars. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.

  As you wish!

  I didn’t hesitate for her to change her mind. I took her to the clouds and hovered.

  This is a dream, right?

  Yes! I told her.

  Then...it was over.

  Was that a dream? I felt like I was repeating myself. It felt so real.

  She opened the balcony door and panicked. Why had she panicked? Was there danger? I was out my own door and outside the balcony watching before she made a step away from the edge.

  Too warm, I shed my shirt. I was clean and sweat wasn’t becoming around her. She was too perfect to make dirty with my sweat scent and salty drenched heat. I felt like I had just bench pressed an elephant with the nerves that flew through me.

  And oh, she wasn’t wearing much. I pulled back in the shadows. After careful consideration, I decided to make sure of her anxiety. I knew of no danger. Her thoughts revealed nothing. Then her hand went to her neck. Ahh! The ring. It wasn’t there.

  ...he had said he loved me in the dream. Did I really hear that?

  She had heard that? I was screwed. And I meant it.

  Huh! She gasped. Cas? Can you hear me?

  Yes! And I you. Little did she know, I was right outside.

  I lost my ring.

  It’s okay. I prefer to hear you.

  I kind of like the thought of hearing you. I didn’t think I would. Can you see me?

  I inhaled the night air. No! Can you see me?

  No! I heard her breath stop for a pause and then...boxers or briefs?

  Neither! I chortled. She was blazoned and bold at times I couldn't foresee it coming.

  Huh! she gasped.

  And you? I liked this game. She was daring and catty like I knew her to be...with me.

  A girl keeps her secrets, but the night air feels wonderful on my skin.

  I know.

  WHAT? You said you couldn’t see me. She backed into the room farther.


  I laughed to myself and returned to my own room to keep myself honest.

  I can’t. Now! I am just lying here pretending to need sleep so I can try to feel what you might be feeling. It makes me feel closer to you.

  It was a dream, right?

  I think so. It is hard to say. I have never heard anyone before to know if I could hear thoughts and dreams. But I think that it was your subconscious talking maybe, because you answered me and I answered you. And you say you don’t remember it? I did. This dream I certainly did. Everyone I ever knew did. And you didn’t see where I was in the dream, only what we said?

  Yes and no. I liked it.

  No sound came from anywhere for a while. I worried she fell asleep.

  My room is really great. I am starting to think the only reason you have this balcony is to see the moonlight.

  She was on the balcony of her room again. I could tell from my own doors open the way her hand gripped the railing and made a soft creaking sound. My senses caught everything even more when I was trying so hard to catch them. With her, I tried to catch every little detail.

  I can think of a couple other good reasons to add to it now. She ignored my hints.

  I feel like the moon is a sun. Like it is warming me.

  The moon is my sun, I told her. I can’t concentrate. My chest his heaving just thinking about how close she was, but far away.

  I think I understand what that means. You know everything my mind thinks. I am not sure that is a good thing.

  Why not? I love the way you think.

  She moved around where she sat, Where is the ring?

  Silence loomed around me.

  I had scared her.

  I didn’t want that so I shifted my weight to make the breeze carry my boy and scent from where I had just left my own balcony and floated right in front of hers. Flying was definitely another asset of being a Vampire.

  When her back stiffened, I touched my hand to her neck hoping to keep her from being scared of me. She had the opposite reaction though and it made my heart speed the rate of a demon’s wings.

  Why do you affect me so? Anastacia thought then ruled aloud, “I didn’t mean to think that. See, you hear my hidden thoughts you shouldn’t be allowed to know.”